Sometime in life, Somewhere through life…

Walking by fields, pale yellow
Saw something undesirably still,
It was a scarecrow
No noise, no sound, no skill
Just the rows of straw,
And a vale flowing by the mill.

Crossed the vale, by a tree stump
Saw something monotonously dripping,
It was a handpump.
All wet, broken and chipping
As useless as a desolate dump,
As underpriced as an unneeded clipping.

Further ahead, another nipping sight,
On a lamp post was hanging
A snarled kite.
Snapped, torn and dangling,
Had lost its capability of flight,
Up there, barely clinging.

Across the pastures and the flocks,
Sensed expectations and an eternal wait
I was near a letter box.
Every month and its every date,
And time ticking by the clocks,
The feeling would all the more inflate.

Back to my home, under my fan
Sitting and gathering every thought
I am an old man.
With them, each day, I have fought,
Why was I detached from my own clan?
Why am I living in such a drought?

The Constant “It”

“Like a river, which always finds its way to lower ground even if it has to dig through canyons, life manages to find the shortest route to “normalcy” , stubbornly struggling against fear.”    Marina Nemat

With every sunset and every rise
I feel it in my tides
When I love being calm, I have to enrage
This is the way it is, I guage
I know I am strong enough to resist it
But my abysmal depth strengtens me to confront it.

With waters’ flow and winds’ blow
I experience it when they gnaw
Let me stand here quiet and straight
Why do you want my influence to abate?
I know I am hard enough to resist it
But my unassailable fortress fortifies me to confront it.

With unalike temperatures on land and sea
I see it when here and there I flee
I wish to drift where I care
Why is it all a snare?
I know I am firm enough to resist it
But my invincible celerity beefs me up to confront it.

With every instant and every second
I just find it constant
It breaks my heart and shatters me down
I desire to hold things on
I know I am stiff enough to resist it
But my inviolable strength pushes me to confront it.

With every force – wrong or right
I figure it holding my hands tight
I don’t know what makes it invariable
Its presence is not deniable
I know I am steadfast enough to resist it
But my unfathomable existence thrusts me to confront it.

It’s all because of you!

At least I didn’t lose my decency,
Though life has not been in its fluency.
If I have liabilities, unemployment, tribulations and debts,
I also possess philosophy, enthusiasm, courage and friends.
If my contentment, my agony besieges
I recognize it well, sea is encircled by beautiful beaches.

Where is that BLOODY BUD..??
I have been searching in every dirt.
Been to the ocean depths, now trying to fly
I know, there is no limit to sky.
With my quandaries, my aspirations grew,
I have the nerves to reach the Purdue.

Physics is so damn easy
The hassles of life are driving me crazy
I don’t understand why is it hard to understand
I can’t hold my life, it slips like sand
Let me be free and let it pass,
Do not hold and do not truss.

Stop howling, leave this fucking bull shit
Live thy present and refurbish it.
Photography, painting, music, animation and enterprise
Are all my aims and not just cries.
If I have the ability to think, I have it to achieve
Move on and don’t just sit and grieve.

Life’s beautiful, just have that vision.
Life’s achievable, just find the direction.
Life’s a risk, just have the audacity,
Life’s an empty vessel, just provide it capacity,
Life’s a question, just ask it why,
Life’s a war, just fight until you die.

* conditions applied

I was with them…days passed great…but the last day…these were the words I heard from them,
“Eat what you want *,
Eat as much as you want *…
Par weight kam karo”

I was put in co-education *
To facilitate my interaction with no hesitation
So that I am not a coy
But I can’t be friends with any boy
They expected me to abide
Why are there always conditions applied?

“We are your friends”
“We follow current trends”
“You can speak to us, ask whatever u want” *
But when it comes to sex and atheism, I can’t
Even listening to them, they have denied
Why are there always conditions applied?

“You are old enough to decide” *
“You know what is wrong and what is right”
“You are independent”, all this they prate
But they won’t allow me to choose my mate
On chained choices I have cried
Why are there always conditions applied?

“You have made us proud”
“You stand out inimitably in the crowd”
“You are our SON” *…wait there’s a twirl
“You can’t be that outgoing, you are a GIRL“
On my free existence, they have always lied
Why are there always conditions applied?

Lend me my power to speak
I am hesitating now, please don’t make me bleat.
Lend me my power to decide
I am indecisive now, please don’t make me more bright.
Can I have the authority of my life which has died?
Why are there always conditions applied?

Am I Free?

When I would be fifty-five,
I would be happy, gay and live.
Free from all my responsibilities,
Not answerable for any of the daily duties.
But my moves, the society clasps
What should I call them – Free or Tethered steps?

When I would be thirty-five,
I would have plenty and lots to strive.
Capable of differentiating good from bad,
Competent to choose from innumerable choices that turn me mad.
Alas! Marriage and family bring in the differences
What should I call them – Free or Bound preferences?

When I would be twenty-five,
Explorations and discoveries would be my drive.
Always thinking out of the box,
Enthusiasm turning all stones and rocks.
But prejudices emerge and my path again blocks
What should I call them – Free or Restricted thoughts?

When I would be fifteen,
Nosiness and curiosity all drifting.
Incalculable questions surging my brain,
Everything left unanswered yet again.
Being entitled rebellious and with no reciprocations
What should I call them – Free or Trussed inquisitions?

Now I am conceived,
I shall bring joy, it is believed.
I shall be given all love and affection,
I shall be brought up with all perfection.
I was the decision of a husband and a wife
What should I call it – a Free or a Forced life?

Distance?

Why is it that, the unseen exists?
Why is it that, the feeling persists?
Why are they not miscible?
Why the imagined not conceivable?
Don’t know why I can feel the fear?
Don’t know why the distance still is there?

Running parallel farther and farther,
Making the beaches look beautiful together.
Though in concert, they do not meet,
Gives me a feeling all the more bleak.
Don’t know why the shores have lost their glare?
Don’t know why the distance still is there?

Both accommodate the world as one,
One sky, one moon, one galaxy and the only sun.
When unaccompanied, every One becomes Two,
Everything is false and nothing is true.
Don’t know why the eyes exist in pair?
Don’t know why the distance still is there?

Together they carry the loads of life,
Together they move on a mutual drive.
When one dies, the other flies,
Leaving behind groans, mourns and cries.
Don’t know why body and soul exist in layer?
Don’t know why the distance still is there?

He has given existence a trigger,
Still is given a human figure.
Though not tangible, still adored,
The question rises again aboard.
Don’t know why so different the gods appear?
Don’t know why the distance still is there?

A man and a woman so intimate,
Their relation so strong and passionate,
Sharing thoughts, even those that they mar,
Why is space so necessary, be it love or be it war?
Don’t know why it is still unclear and unfair?
Don’t know why the distance still is there?

Voluntary Off

Thinking about everything I came across,

With no prejudices and fear of cross,

Time being no constrain and I being at no loss,

Was on a voluntary off, of course.

 

On a cool, sunny, summer day,

On a straight road, on my way,

The street appeared unending,

Had no sharp twist, turn or bending.

I was alone with my solitude,

On my path of desire and spirits at an altitude.

 

On a tree branch by the side,

I saw a mother bird trying to hide

Her eggs with one-by-one collected twigs,

On her nest, feeding her little kids,

Their proceedings stood out in the crowd,

Expressing themselves all clear and loud.

 

A woman who was simply clad,

Showed contentment with what she had.

Wearing sari, bindi, bangles and vermillion,

Talking to her child in expressions, a million,

Each expressed in vivid words,

Stood out as distinctly as those of birds.

 

The infant, close to his mother’s breast,

Gave a blissful smile and the world seemed at rest.

His world so unaware and so non-chalant,

Unable to speak but still so blatant,

Eyes so pure and far from deception,

Portrayed minimalism right from conception.

 

Decided to spend my eve by the ocean,

Finally reached to this dungeon

Of solitude, togetherness, sorrow, happiness, and thoughts

Imagining its vastness and depth, my blood clots

With its noisy silence, all sounds drown,

Was it my destination, the ‘Unknown-Known’?

 

My journey close to nature

Holds true for every creature

Everything seemed clear still unclear,

Simple still complicated, I swear!

Let it work and let it pass,

Do not hold and do not truss,

The farther it shall run, the more you strive,

This was my expedition close to life.

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